my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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