Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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