Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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