turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize