you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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