Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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