So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
