Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
