i was born a porn star she said
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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