He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
