; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
