4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
