apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
