Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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