I love black thongs
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
