At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize