Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
