do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
