Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
