So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
