I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
