About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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