youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
