Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
