He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize