i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
