when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
