No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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