New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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