Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What a dumb baby whore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
