Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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