Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
