just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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