Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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