I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize