Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
