my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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