Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
