what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
