im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
