Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my sisters under your porch take her home
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize