just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
