I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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