i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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