your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
