the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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