textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
