Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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