we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
