I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize