Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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