That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
