you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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