i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
