Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
