I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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