Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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