Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I can text with my tongue
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
