Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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