So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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