Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
well you can't waste a boner
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
