mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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