He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you win again, gameday.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
